Dreadful Dates & Other Tragic Tales.

In recent months the MDM has been blessed to catch up with several of her beloved friends who also happen to be in the single season of their lives. Whilst eligible bachelors, potential suitors and the male gender in general do not account for the majority of conversation, these topics do inevitably enter the dialogue between the MDM and her dear friends. An aside note at this point, dear readers: other topics of such conversation between the MDM and her beloved friends are both broad and deep, varying from discussion of spiritual truths and insights, career and personal goals, which contestants we like and dislike on Masterchef, literary works, whether or not we should eat another row of chocolate, etcetera.

To her dismay, through these conversations the MDM discovered that several of her beloved friends have endured dreadful dates with potential suitors over recent months. Others have been left in a state of sheer confusion, unsure as to where the potential suitor stands in his affection for her (if any). Which leads the MDM to ask, is there anything more tormenting than trying to ascertain the fragile boundary between friendship and romance? Well, yes, there probably is, but we can all agree that negotiating the level of just how much he’s “into you” is innately torturous at times, bringing bouts of nausea and acute anxiety.

Just as torturous, are the aforementioned dreadful dates that leave a maiden thinking that she would have much preferred to have spent an hour banging her head against a brick wall rather than have had coffee with a man who clearly forgot to shower that morning. Yes, dear readers, this actually happens and attractive, intelligent women are forced to endure it.

Also in the dreadful dates category are the ones where the conversation is stilted and quite frankly, boring.

A word to the potential suitors:

The MDM is about to let you in on a secret that could change your dating career for the better… If you ask a girl out for coffee, dinner or any other form of date-like activity, it would greatly assist your chances of a second date if you TALK. To her. With her. About virtually anything. Just pick a topic and try it out. And have a few up your sleeve. Literally, if required. Indeed, the MDM’s pastor once told the church that during his courtship with his now-wife, he wrote a list of discussion topics before picking up the phone to call her. Clearly, a brilliant ploy.

There are of course taboo topics for a first date: your ex-girlfriend and how she broke your heart is generally best avoided. As is how many hours you spend playing Playstation or X-Box.

Also on the taboo list is any reference to God speaking to you about how you and the maiden are “meant to be together”. Just keep that one in the bag for a while…  Please, p l e a s e, trust your good friend MDM.

And now a word to the maidens:

Whilst some of the dreadful dates make us cringe, we can’t be too critical of these potential suitors. For many of them, actually asking out a maiden on a date is an enormous hurdle and one that causes much angst on their part. Indeed, if you do then say yes, and they sit opposite you looking like a stunned mullet, it is probably because they are in awe of your beauty, wit and intellect!